Thank you for all the sweet comments you left about my girl. I am SO grateful I have that little face to gaze upon. Things totally unrelated to my family have been very stressful lately and, somehow, just seeing that little face eases the way.
For privacy reasons I can't go into a lot of detail but suffice it to say I hope that some of the stress in my daily life eases soon. I'm used to a very busy life but, until a while back, it was typically a pleasant kind of busy. Of course, nothing much stays fabulous forever just as nothing stays absolute hell forever. But, I think there has been a bit much of the hell lately and it's time for a turnaround. Fortunately, my attitude has been so good post-referral that this has not taken me to my knees. I've got better things to worry about. But, over time it is wearing on me. I'm getting tired. I went all incognito on the blog front long, long ago but, unfortunately, people have used identifying information way too often for me to be comfortable expressing myself in a way that would be cathartic for me. So, the cryptic and ever-brief whine it is. I'll put the details in my personal journal which is always the wiser choice anyway. I'm a big girl and I will continue to behave as such. It is just disturbing when the 'grown-up' way of looking at things isn't really shared by the surrounding adults. So, tell me: Do we EVER really leave the playground arguments and games behind? I'm certainly trying but I feel like I am stuck in some kind of 'lifetime' drama and it gets old. I don't do drama well. It annoys me.
My frustration is showing on another level too and if that person is reading here, well, then they are. I just need to say it. Today I was (at her request) showing my updated pictures of PIPA to another person who is logged in a number of months after me. Knowing this, one would think that perhaps I would not have heard this response as she stared at my gal's updated photo: "Awww...I think she was cuter without hair" WTH? WTH? WTH? Being in the adoption process obviously doesn't give a free pass for sensitivity. I had to walk off after making it clear that I think my child is beautiful -hair or no hair. I seriously tried to imagine myself saying to someone: "Wow, too bad your kid is growing up because they were cute when they were littler." Nothing that bone-headed will ever come out of my mouth and, I suppose, I was a little shocked. Then again, I know you of the BTDT crowd have heard lots of bone-headed things so I guess I better get my armadillo skin on. I have been fortunate to have had an 'ass-free zone' for most of these past few years and it gets me astir when the asses are starting to circle closely again. UPDATE: I should clarify that this person is NOT one who comments on blogs and is not anyone I've mentioned before. No need for more speculative drama. I needed to vent it, I did and I'm finito with it :0)
On a better note, the bits of the inauguration that I was able to catch were amazing. It was an incredible thing to see and it is time for new hope to be realized. May good come to fruition.
Another good note is when I am reminded each day that what I do is important to the individuals who really matter. When 'stuff' becomes overwhelming, I can still step back and remember that. I think I just need to learn to protect some time to step back more often. I'm not very good at that these days. This too shall pass.
Good gravy...I hope we hear some TA/referral news SOON!
Off to find my zen place with a pillow ;0)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
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12 comments:
Sorry that you have to deal with such NASTY people..
I was always told if you didn't have anything nice to say..Keep your mouth SHUT..
Oh well..
My opinion on Pipa..
SHE IS DARLING WITH OR WITHOUT HAIR..
She is sooo stinking cute..
Hope you get some rest..
Have a great week..
Bring on the TA and the referrals..
Some people really don't think, do they? Sigh. Your PIPA is gorgeous, bald or not. Breathe in, breathe out. Peace in, peace out.
Sorry to hear other parts of your life are weighing you down at a time when you should be floating on air.
Just keep staring at the pics of that beautiful girl. I'm sure that puts a smile on your face no matter what the circumstance. And yes... she's beautiful bald or hairy.
PS. Just have to say for others who may be trying to guess... it was NOT me who said it. :)
Oh good grief, that definitely qualifies for top 10 in the "Stupid Things to Say to a Parent" list. It's OK Pipo, we all know Pipa is ADORABLE, no matter what kind of 'do she is sporting.
Hope the stress of life gives you a break soon. Concentrate on that sweet little face and she'll get you through. Come on TA!!!!
Yep....the bone heads are out there! We run into them EVERYWHERE. After we found out about our son being critical ill and we could not adopt him, a co-worker actually asked me for his clothes! Within minutes of that horrible phone call.
I made a vow to always think about what I say BEFORE I say it!
I am so sorry that you were victim to that comment. The rest of us know that little PIPA is precious period. No other words are needed to describe her like with or without!!!!!!
First thing I want to say is that Pipa is BEAUTIFUL - hair or no hair.
I have learned that there are a lot of people out there that still act like they are in high school. It's really pathetic.
Wanna hear something that happened to me? You know that Briana is pretty tall for her age. I think she will probably be a tall and thin person when she grows up - which I think is great. The other day an aquaintance of mine commented that she couldn't believe how tall Briana was getting and that she was going to be an "amazon woman". Nice, huh? Hmmm, I think now I should have slugged her.
OMG MORE SIDE SPLITTING BELLY LAUGHTER!!!! I just read Krista's "PS" on her comment and I'm busting a gut!!!!
Holy crap - who needs stand-up when you can come here????
And to add my own PS: I say banish asshats forever. That's one gorgeous (and I truly mean gorgeous) kiddo. However I have to say I think I'd prefer her with a goatee and a soul patch :P
Nope, I'm convinced that some folks never leave the elementary school playground...or high school hallways. Sad, but true. You are a better person.
People say the dumbest things--even educated people! I can't even tell you how many times I have been asked if my son speaks English. This has been occurring since he was 3 months old! I was also told by one person that adopting a child at 6 months of age would leave him "too Vietnamese". Honestly, what a crock of poo.
The closer you get the dumber the comments will get.
By the way--does your daughter speak English? :)
Unfortunately, we used to get lots of those comments from people who spoke before they thought (or did not really choose their words right). It hurts the first few times, but then you get used to it (you can't fix stupid!) and if you can, learn to deal with humor. I always had a snappy comeback line or two to close their traps shut and make them think, without hurting the daughter who was always unfortunately present when the words were spoken. I think everyone here who has already adopted can at least tell you one story (I have at least two dozen!). Thankfully, people in Canada seem to be more polite, but we are on the defensive now, lol.
OMG!!! Your baby is absolutely adorable in ALL her pictures! One reality though is that our children will probably not look like their referral photos - those pics are already months old at referral. So these updates photos are special since they are the latest (and greatest!) photos of our little ones....and hopefully soon you will be holding that sweetness in your arms!!! Come on TA!
That is a real bonehead thing to say. I can't believe someone, especially a PAP would say that. Incredible.
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