I find myself in a curious position these recent weeks more than ever. I am sure part of this post is coming from an over-tired mind as a long call weekend winds down. Still, I am finding myself so ridiculously sensitive lately. There isn't one thing I can do that seems to make it go away for long. It keeps sneaking up on me.
I cry at the drop of a hat. I almost threw a clot I was so upset when Warrick got 'taken out' on CSI week before last. That was when I first decided I was going off the deep end sobbing over network TV I hardly ever watch. Now, it only takes a Hallmark commercial to get me all misty. I am left thinking 'What is this about?' I have never been such a generalized waterworks factory.
I'm almost always a pragmatic type and realize that the world isn't forever draped in roses (believe me, I learned that one long ago). But I am finding I am more interested in creating the Kumbaya karma all around me more than ever. This is probably because the stress when things aren't rosy makes me cry these days. It's bizarre and I'm getting on my own nerves.
Am I feeling deeply sad? No, not at all. Am I a basket case at the moment? No. There is only one situation in every realm of my life that does actually stress me now and even that one is getting way more concern from me than it deserves. Frankly, that one pisses me off more than anything else but there isn't much I can do about it. So, I have to change how I look at it and move on. I never used to have an issue doing such things. Now, I'm a fretball. I get frustrated that I am fretting and I cry. Are we noticing a trend here? I look like a snuffling, puffy frog within seconds of the tears starting. What a gooball ;0)
It came to me that I am behaving as many of my third trimester pregnant gals. They start getting a wee moody, snappy, tearful, giggly, etc. (most within the span of 5 minutes). It's all part of the anxiety of impending parenthood. It's okay. So, I suppose, what starts for many bio moms at 32 weeks is finally setting in for me at 32 months. It's going to be a wild ride in these coming weeks.
I'm suspecting the waterworks will ease after referral but what do I know? I'm suspecting a whole new happy anxiety will replace the way things are now and not ease until ...well, maybe never ;0)
Tissue, anyone? Don't tell me you had to swat a fly today. I promise you I'd cry about it.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
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24 comments:
I was a complete mess just before referral, between referral and travel, during the week in province. My poor husband. My poor travel group. Thankfully, my fretball status eventually eased a bit, although I won't admit to how long that took. Hugs to you!!!
Totally the hormones of becoming a mother soon! There is honestly nothing like it. And, those different feelings of anxiety.. yeah, they never go away. My others kids are grown and I still worry about them. My mom says she worries about me and I'm in my 40's.
Also, you think the weeks are flying by now, wait till you are on the other side of referral. Time really flys then.
I believe you have 'referralitis', and I believe it to be perfectly normal. Spoken from somebody who just might be on the brink of referralitis as well. Cry on girl.
Ah you hormonal woman you! Referral is getting closer so you're getting wackier!
It is perfectly normal. I've never given birth, yet I went through all that before referral. I was a total wreck.
For me, however, it ended with referral. Once I had Sera's picture in my hand everything calmed down for me. Sure there was the stress of finalizing travel plans, etc..., but it was nothing like pre-referral. If I felt like I was losing it, I'd look at her picture and tell her I was on my way. That seemed to center me.
I have a feeling it won't get any better with referral...maybe even worse! For me it got worse the closer I was to travel.
Just think of how stressed you'd be if you couldn't get some of that out with all the crying...think of it as therapeutic!
p.s. I think Kleenex is on sale this week.
((hugs)) friend. When it comes time for the rest of us to go through this we'll realize we're totally 'normal.' You're gonna make it.
Ah....hormones. Ain't they grand?
I don't blame you at all, cry away, girl. All that stress and pent-up anxiety has to go somewhere. ANd it's better than eating 4 chocolate bars a day.
Your emotions are in overdrive! Your baby, that little bundle you have been waiting for forever, is finally almost here!! It makes me want to cry with happiness too- just thinking about it! Cry away and let all that tension of the wait out of your system! :)
You are in your final month of a paper pregnancy and your hormones are preparing you for what lies ahead: at least 12 hours of labour on a long flight to China. A wave of emotions when you finally see and hold your kid for the first time. Oh, and lots of food cravings after only a week in China.
I hardly ever cry, but like you, would cry at commercials! Just ride the wave, and buy more tissues. The best is yet to come!
I am thinking this is normal.. So you want to do all these things becuase that is a hint that SOON YOU WILL BE A MOMMY..
Hugs girly..
Have a Great Week..
All your emotions are on high alert, so it's no wonder you're being affected by everything. Get used to it though...when you're a mom, you can get pretty emotional too!
Congratulations, you are (paper) pregnant.
When I was pregnant with Ariel, I cried (SOBBED!) at Hallmark commercials and anything else that tugged at my very sensitive heart.
So I'm just confirming what you know and everyone else is telling you... you're feeling what every mom-to-be feels... everything at once!!!
Ryan ran into the store the other day and I waited in the car for him. He had to pick up ONE item. By the time he got back I was in tears. When he asked why I couldn't tell him. Just needed a cry I guess. Maybe it's something in the air?
Next get-together I'll bring a jumbo box of puffs! :)
It's 969 days worth of pent up anxiety, fear, anticipation, frustration, longing, dreaming.... well, I could go on and on.
I think it's all normal.
I cried during that CSI too...but You totally got emotion overload and it's totally justified and OK! Cry away and enjoy it!
Gotta love it when those wacky hormones kick in,totally normal.....this is the sure sign that your referral is coming soon,you are going to make a great Momma!!!
Hugs!!!
Except for the puffy eyes and tissue use, you are in the later stage of this paper pregnancy. Soon it will be true tears of joy.
Keep smilin!
Ok... now I'm the biggest sook in the world, and I didn't cry when Warrick "slipped away"!!! Although I was very moved by Gil's acting! (oh yeah! I missed the show, but they replayed it as an encore show on Sun night! woohoo!)Wasn't goin on with Sarah? She looked like she'd aged 10 years?!! (gawd, I'm a b!tch!)
Take it from me... there will be plenty to cry about in the future! (crayon drawing on the walls? no more sleep ins? even going to the toilet solo! permanent texta on your friends door frames? margerine smeared all over the tv... Mikayla did a good job on that one!)... so don't be sad! Save it!!!
While you're in the "teary" mode...
check out this for a good cry!
http://ourjourneytoalice.blogspot.com/2008/10/one-year-ago-today.html
Before I got to those sentences, I was just going to say... she's at the end of her pregnancy :O) Enjoy those "hormonal" fluctuations babe, bask in them!! God I am all covered in goosebumps over here!
It totally makes sense that you'd go a little emotional after all this build up and waiting and KNOWING you're so close now. It is a great thing and you will just have to sit back and enjoy the ride! Hehehe. So close now!!!
Enjoy every weird moment of it. =)
Oh girl.... yep, T is right. "referralitis". Thats what you have. It will go away... LOL.... its all ok - go with it. Its really "all good" I promise.
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