Now that referral is drawing closer, I've had that special time on my mind. I want to savor it, I want to protect it, I want to first share it with my family. I really appreciate my friends near and far. I am thankful for my co-workers. I have received wonderful support during this wait from nearly everyone I know and I am so blessed every single day. That being said, when that time does come, it will be a time I spend with family first. Things that will not happen: partying in a bar to celebrate with friends (I AM rolling my eyes at this suggestion), immediately sharing every detail on-line, nor immediately fielding phone calls/emails.
I see this event as no different than giving birth (except you get to keep your pants on). Everyone is different. Some want only their partner present. Others want extended family in the room. Yet others don't care if the teen-age neighbor is in the room (not kidding). The thing is: personal choice. Then of course there are those who really don't want people in the room but feel cornered by friends or family to allow them in. That is where I come in. I play the bad guy and toss out anyone mama really doesn't want there for the big moment. It gives mama what she wants/needs and protects her from looking 'mean' to her family.
I don't have a 'me' to run interference in this adoption gig so I will just say that I plan to have a very private time at referral and soon after. This is not to say I'm not going to share...you BET I am. I'll be so insanely happy there could be no other way nor do I want there to be. It just means that when my day comes that my priority will be to soak in my new child myself then share with family and then friends, etc. You get it.
So, although I appreciate thoughts of fanfare I can just assure you that I am a very private person. As such, I want to privately savor my good news for a bit before sharing it with all. I hope everyone understands. That's just how it has to be for me.
Now, back to the regularly -scheduled postings :0)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
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41 comments:
myself-----I plan on being pant-less when I receive my referral----I'm just sayin'
Woo Hoo!! We're already talking about you being MIA for a bit after referral. Yay!! I'm so excited that you're getting closer to your special day.
I will sit back & wait for your news when the time comes, & may it come soon.
Hugs!
Hey Pugmama...are you videotaping your referral call??? YouTube will be rockin' that day. ;0)
PIPO ~ You are so right... everyone is very different. Do what feels right and it will BE right. Everyone has different levels of privacy. (Heck, I won't even share face shots of my daughter on the blog!) We'll cheer no matter what!
Thanks for telling us to tick off... gently!!!
I'm with you. Family First.
OMG! I can scarcely believe it... I'm only 6 days away - and you're only 8?!! Six is do-able for a month's worth of referrals, isn't it?!!
Bravo to you! We put our foot down too, especially when we first came home. We needed time alone to bond and take care of our sick daughter. So we did not tell anyone when we were flying in, nor did we let anyone come to our home and meet our daughter for almost a month. Then, we slowly introduced her to family and friends (grandparents first for a long weekend!). Thanksfully everyone understood our need for privacy and did not bug us too much.
We all understand what you are going through (some of us have been through it, some are going through it soon), so no worries dear friend. You do what is right for you and your child! And please know we will be sending happy wishes and positive thoughts your way the whole time!
You will never regret this decision to keep it in line with what you want. It is after all about you and the little one and if the decision is perfect for you - then it's perfect. :-)
Well... you will let us in on her new name, right?
Totally understood!!! Of course I'll be refreshing your blog page like crazy to see if there is any news ;-)
I'm still trying to get over the "teen age neighbor in the room" part!
You have every right to take all the time you want/need to savor your beautiful child's face. :)
I completely and totally understand your feelings.
If I were giving birth I wouldn't want anyone in the room. (Thinking ugly cry times 10) :)
We'll all be here waiting to read all about your trip and see the adorable pictures! :)
Good for you. WE had a quiet time cos we weren't allowed to spill the beans and with Lily we were very quiet since we didn't blog. Family First......it's our mantra. COurse that doesn't mean I won't be hitting refresh every 10 seconds to see your little one's face.
So glad your day is so close and you can really anticipate it. We will all be so happy for you whenever you choose to post. I am amazed with the quilt you made for Kavanna, as well as your asian pear tart and pumpkin bread. And thank you for the inspirational story about the mom who kept her baby against all odds and is doing great. Faith can move mountains.
So happy Paulette and Annalise can land with you!
We all understand. Do whatever you feel is right for you.
PS. I think I spit out my tea when I read that first comment. Of course it'd come from PM. LOL!
I have been following your journey for a good while now. I'm not sure I've ever commented before (how pathetic is that?! ;)...but I wanted to let you know how happy I am for you that your wait is almost over.
Enjoy this incredibly special time...and we'll be waiting (with baited breath) for your return.
You go, girl. This is personal time, you do what YOU need to on your special day!!!!!! Savour EVERY SECOND.
I could not imagine doing it any other way either. Can't wait for the big day!
Unacceptable. I was a call immediatley. (I'm so kidding) Totally respect how you want to share your special time. Enjoy it, savor it....and then let us all know QUICK that are just dyin to hear. Its been too long!
I nearly peed when I read Pugmama's comment. Infact I think I did.
I can't believe we are talking about YOUR REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm with you...it is so important to be able to share the important moments in the right way and at the right time.
Wow!! Your time is finally here. And it is so right to do everything the way you want. We of course will be so excited to hear when you are ready to share...
Mary
Soak in the gorgeousness of the moments in your own desired way! =)
Totally get it! However, like all the others, I'll be refreshing everyday until I can see your sweet girl's (or boy's)face with the rest of bloggy world!
I totally lost what I was going to say when I read Pug Mama's comment. *snort*
I totally get it. You know how private a person I am. :)
I totally understand and we'll wait as long as needed for you to share your wonderful news with us. I may wear out the refresh button but please know it's only because I don't want to wait 8 hours for bloglines to refresh! SOOO excited for you friend and cannot wait to celebrate your referral!!
I don't consider myself an overly private person but I've had similar feelings to you. Love my bloggy friends but it's family and friends first. I have an added glitch with my referral in that I'll receive initial information right away but won't see her pic for probably 5 days until all the translations and initial agency follow-up with CCAA happens! Wow...now those 5 days are gonna feel like a MONTH!
8 days of LID's?!! Love you...and prayin' for your sanity sweet friend! xo
Sounds like a good choice to me!!!
Wendy at Adoption & Fire
Sounds reasonable to me. More power to you!
Pipo I totally agree with, understand, respect and cheer you on for your opinion on this matter!!! I have to add that I am so excited for you, even for us there are only 13 lid dates for our agency in front of us and I am letting myself get so excited.
Now I have to tell you that the new title foryour blog CRACKS ME UP!!!! I LOVE IT.
have a great weekend!!!!
You take your time and savor it just how you want! We'll wait patiently for your return. We didn't blog back in the referral days, we drove our pictures all over town to show our family. There's just something too mechanical about emailing it to everyone!
SO excited that you're getting so close!!
I totally understand and hope you enjoy your moment...then announce it to the world of course : )
I totally understand. I'm a very private person myself. But ... I absolutely cannot wait to hear about your little girl (or boy?!) ... only 8 more LID's?! Holy crap - you're so close!!!!!
Damn, and I thought I'd hear the news first. I guess Ron & I will take a back seat....geesh....where's the love gone?
Completely understood.
The first thing we did was call all our family. It really stinks to live so far away from them all.
Then we went out to dinner at our favorite little Chinese restaurant where we shared our news with the owner.
Then I blogged about it. Blogging had become my outlet, the thing that saved me during the wait, and the friends who were waiting with me had become so important. That being said, if I had more local friends or any family around, I'm sure I wouldn't have relied on my blog so much. ;o)
So I guess you won't be blasting "MoneyMaker" from your boombox while you video your referral moment for all of blogland to see?
Your girls a-coming & that is a very lovely thing! Can't wait, you. xo
I couldn't agree more with you! When I adopt, I'm sure I'll have a blog, but anyway you do it, having a baby involves some privacy! That's something quite respectable :-)
Crossing my fingers (and toes) for your wait to come to an end!
Hi, C. It's been awhile since I checked out your blog so was surprised to see this new one. I just got thinking about you and wondering whether you had your referral yet - not long now. I totally agree with keeping somethings private. I will be checking occasionally to see a picture of J, though.
Family first for sure and take all the time you need before going public. We will all be here for you when your are ready for the support that is what it is all about. But Family will be there forever and should be there first.
Your life is going to change...you take all the time you need to savor that moment. Can't wait to hear the news, when you are ready to shout it to the world!
You should definitely celebrate the way you are most comfortable with. That said, I can't wait to see your baby's face someday real soon!
Yep. Totally get it and I'm the same way girl :)
This is a good post and some seriously great comments...PugMama. I have no idea how I will handle the moment yet. I would love for the first day to just be me, mike and jake. But I'm sure my family will be camped out on the front lawn.
so get it but will also be stalking your blog for the good news :) Enjoy every single second of the delivery.
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