Not the life I envisioned...

Been a while, eh? I have been hunkered down behind a shield of late as life continues to hurl lemons my way at warp speed. This has not been my year...save the ever important fact of having my girl. She is one of the rare bright spots these days and she keeps me going.

In a nutshell, the downhill snowball started at the beginning of summer. My dad has been in and out of the hospital and rehabs (yeah, he's the 'healthy' one). He developed an infection in his right foot that was big trouble with his diabetes. He ended up with amputation number one in July. The next day he went into respiratory arrest from surgical complications and was on a vent in the ICU. We got through that one and got him to a rehab facility where, unfortunately, infection reared its head again and he went beck for amputation number two in late August...up higher on his extremity. So far, so good with healing and rehab this time. During all this my mom, who has a number of challenges, was residing with Claire and me. Claire was digging having Gamma and, eventually, Pop-Pop here all the time while mama played nurse/doc/parent, etc.

Somewhere in the midst of all this I injured my right knee - not even sure when now. It worsened and I was seen by an orthopedist who diagnosed a meniscus tear. It was painful so a quick little surgery was supposed to have me back in the game in days. You see where this is going, no? Well, surgery was in early September and that was the last time I walked without significant assistance. From the way things are going this is not likely to change anytime soon. The pain that led to the surgery? Bah, I had no idea what pain was. For several weeks after surgery I was in such pain secondary to complications that I no longer cared about anything else except a way out of the pain. Thank the stars for my sister and brother who tag-teamed me and my parents in my house and, pretty much, took over nurturing my girl for a few weeks there. I continue to worsen in ability to use my right leg despite aggressive PT. I was out of work nearly a month and am having one bear of a time since going back. I have seen three different professionals about my position and have gotten three different answers. None of them have been very encouraging but I remain hopeful that I will walk again normally soon (somewhat). As long as I can manage the pain from a frozen limb and the runoff from an altered gait, I will make it. The pain has been the hardest part. It keeps me from enjoying much and I hate that. I will get there, it is just going to take more time than I like. At least I am down to a cane now...that's a big step from being unable to bear weight at all for a few weeks there.

C seems to be taking it in stride but I have a semi-load of guilt about all I cannot do right now. But, she seems to enjoy imitating my pathetic gait and is requesting her own cane 'like mommy's'. Geesh, how sad is that? At least we have both kept our sense of humor (most days) and are managing to get out a little bit again now. As well, I will say if something good has come from it, C is going through the roof with her Spanish abilities. She cracks me up with her ability to speak (very simply) in Spanish. It's just so fun. So, focusing on the good, me being 'differently abled' right now is helping my girl become bilingual and I dig that.

So, for anyone still reading here who wonders if I completely fell off the face of the earth, I did...but only for a while. It has been a rough row but at least, if only in my attitude, some forward progress is being made.